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Marty had never been shot at before, although he had once been beaned during a baseball game.

That’s awesome and I love it so much.  Everyone should feel free to attach that last clause to any sentence you want to make more convincing!  For example, I’ve never eaten giraffe meat before, although I have once been beaned during a baseball game.

So Doc gets shot at by the Libyans with their AK-47 submachine gun (and I’ve been informed that an AK-47 is an assault rifle and not a machine gun like the book says, so add that onto Gipe’s Grand List of Inaccuracies!)  Only of course it’s longer in the book because they miss him (at point-blank range) (with a machine gun and/or assault rifle) so Doc runs away from Uranda and Male Libyan Number Three and they chase him in their van, and Marty yells “No!  Doc!  Wait!” and FINALLY I GET TO INCREMENT MY DOC! COUNTER:

DOC! COUNT: 2

Marty realizes telling Doc to wait while being shot at is bad advice, which is amazing because that “wait!” line is in the movie too so this is totally Gipe editorializing on the script he’s been given:

Even as he screamed the words, Marty knew it was poor advice.

and then we watches Doc get shot and die, and he’s so dead that again there’s no doubt in his mind: “There was no doubt in Marty’s mind that the man was dead.”  He yells “You bastards!” and the Libyans come after him and suddenly Marty is acting like he’s trapped in an adventure game which means oh my gosh you guys it’s time for Marty Quest!  It’s time for…

MARTY QUEST II

 As usual, bold text are words I’ve lifted verbatim from the book, the only changes done to convert it to the second person:

Welcome to MARTY QUEST II.  You are Marty McFly, 80s teen!  Libyans just shot your friend, Doc Brown.  They are in a van.  You need to escape the Libyans!  The only way to escape the Libyans is to get into a car and turn it on!

> look

There are three cars here.  The first has Libyans with guns in it who want to kill you.  The second is a DeLorean time machine!  The third is the vehicle that held the DeLorean in it and which drove it to the mall.  It’s big and slow and cumbersome, but at least you know how to drive it.

There is a video camera here.

> get in Libyan van

Great Scott!  I don’t think that’s a good idea, Marty!

> get in van that held DeLorean in it

Your mind, working quickly now, rejected that as a suicidal recourse.  You would never get to the edge of the mall in that pokey truck.  Better to die, if such is your fate, in a burst of glory, or at least in an unmoving vehicle that had a great deal of class.

> okay fine get in DeLorean

Are you sure you want to leave the video camera behind?

> yes I’m being shot at why would I grab a camera

Are you sure you want to leave the video camera behind?

> fine take camera

You take the camera.

> get in DeLorean

You are now inside the DeLorean.

> drive fast

The car is not turned on!

> turn on car

You don’t know how to turn on the car!

> look car

Lights blink all around you, but the starting mechanism is nowhere to be seen.  Meanwhile, as you hesitate, the black van roars up, passing to your right at a distance of no more than ten feet.  Framed in the doorway is the dark Libyan with the machine gun.  You think you see the ghost of a smile as he aims the weapon at you and pulls the trigger.

> this game is racist

I understood you up to the word “racist”, which is not in my vocabulary.

> curl into fetal position

You curl into the fetal position.  Nothing happens.  You blink.

> look outside

Outside, the van is already twenty feet past you and slowing down, the Libyan cursing and slamming his fist against the machine gun, which has obviously failed to fire.  A tirade of angry gibberish, no doubt Libyan swear words, cascades into the night.

> yell “Start”!

You yell “Start!”  Nothing happens. The DeLorean is not voice-activated!

> look car

You look at the array of switches and dials on the console with frightening bewilderment.

> don’t you mean “frightened bewilderment” or is my bewilderment so intense that it’s actually scaring you

I don’t understand “bewilderment so intense”

> look switches

You look at the switches and dials.  What is the secret?  A button?  Something in the nature of a digital code?  Your eyes fly back and forth, trying to locate the solution to the mystery. 

> hint

On the steering column, just like any other ordinary unsophisticated car, is an ignition switch and a key.

> are you serious

I am Marty Quest II!

> use key on ignition switch

As you finally solve this problem, it’s so simple you almost laugh.  ”I’ll be damned” you mutter.  The car is now on.  Congratulations!

> drive car

You drive the car around the mall parking lot while Libyans shoot at you.

> hiss “All right, you bastards, let’s see if you can do ninety!”

I don’t think they can hear you.  You hit the gas, and your speedometer approaches 88 mph.  Lines of digits form and disappear on the dashboard, and something like a siren sounds.  What have you done?  Blown a fuse?  Driven the engine past its limits?  Touched something you should have left alone?  Your eyes quickly scan the dashboard for some clue to this mystery.  Can you solve it?

> can’t say i care to!!  QUIT

Are you sure you want to quit Marty Quest II?

> i say this with all sincerity: never in all my years on this lonely planet have i been more sure of anything until this very moment

Thank you for playing Marty Quest II!  

Hey, what the hell, our score is only 1.21 out of a possible 88 points!!  This is BULLSHIT