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Read it all at once in ebook form!
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Page 246
The cover of A Match Made In Space is described here as “a bedroom with a space alien very reminiscent of Marty’s Darth Vader speaking to a young man cowering beneath the covers” which is awesome mainly for Gipe’s insistence that he put “space alien” in there in case we go away thinking A Match Made In Space is about an illegal Darth-Vader lookin’ Foreign National who is scaring a dude.
The movie goes through this quickly, and it’s almost too quick! Lorraine says its his first book, George says to his kids if they put their mind to it they can accomplish anything, and them BAM we’re busy with the 4x4. I guess I always wondered if the book was actually any good and if it sold. How is George an accomplished author if his first book is just coming out today?
Well FEARS: ASSUAGED, thanks to this Brady-Bunch level dialogue / entire scene!
“Holy cow,” Marty said. ”You wrote that, Dad?”
George nodded proudly. ”My first novel,” he said. ”I sure hope it sells.”
“Of course it’ll sell,” Lorraine gushed. ”After all, it’s not like you’re a nobody. You’ve been selling stories ever since college.”
“That’s right, Dad,” Dave added. ”You’re the one who’s always telling us to have confidence and a positive attitude. Where’s yours now?”
“You’re right,” George said. ”I’m sure this book is going to do just fine.”
Hold on hold on this sappy heartwarming family moment isn’t over yet!
Then, turning to Marty, he put a strong hand on his shoulder and said: “And that tape of yours is going to do just fine, too.”
Cue the audience saying “awwwwwww” in unison!
At this point Biff (“standing with a deferential smile during the previous conversation”, this dude has been transformed) gives Marty the keys to the 4x4 (Gipe taking this for-real-last-chance opportunity to drop some more brand names as he reminds us it’s “a tricked-out black Toyota SR5 truck, as shining and beautiful as when it sat on the showroom floor”), and Marty runs out and climbs inside and begins to have sex with it!
He ran to it, got inside and caressed the upholstery,
oh baby don’t stop
gear shift,
oh BABY, KEEP CARESSING, JUST GO NUTS WITH WHAT YOU CARESS, TELL ME WHAT YOU CARESS NEXT
every switch and dial within reach
that’s it, I’m done, Marty be sure to clean up the seats when you’re finished
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Marty says he’s late because of the dance and because he had to change (not saying “I’m not going back to the future in some zoot suit” like he does in the movie, a line I loved because it underlined how bad Marty was at history AND YET HERE HE IS IN HISTORY, HOW IRONIC)
In the movie, Marty explains how everything’s great now, and shows Doc the picture. Marty says “He laid out Biff in one punch. I never knew he had it in him. He never stood up to Biff in his life!” and there’s this REALLY WEIRD MOMENT where Doc looks up and says “Never?” and there’s a pause and Marty says “No, why, what’s the matter?” and Doc ignores him.
You guys, I could never figure this part out. Did Doc know of another time when George punched Biff? Well I guess I was the slow one because what Doc’s doing here is spelled out completely: he’s worried about the timeline being changed but decides not to say anything! In Booktopia, of course, the characters say everything the can, and Marty starts by saying he thinks his dad might even go to college now:
DOC: “Then that’s something else you’ll be able to worry about between now and the time you get back to 1985.”
MARTY: What?
DOC: Well, if he does go to college, thanks to you, it’ll change his life.
MARTY: For the better, I hope.
DOC: Maybe, but suppose while he’s there, he meets some coed who’s more attractive to him than your mother? That could cause you to do a quick fade out. Or suppose because of college expenses, your mom and dad decide to hold off having kids for a couple years? If that happens, you may find that you’re twelve or fourteen years old in 1985 instead of seventeen. How do you like them apples?
And hahaha, amazing, Doc ending that speech with “How do you like them apples” is AMAZING. I love it. What I DON’T love is how crazy that paragraph is!
CRAZINESS ONE: What Doc’s saying makes sense (college is a big life change, and many high school relationships don’t survive it) HOWEVER the “quick fade out” thing is weird and only fits with my variable-speed metatime theory if Doc’s wrong about how quick it would be. But on the other hand, it’s only in the book and Doc is a Crappy Doc here! Either way it’s a weird thing to introduce in the middle of a “let’s travel through time really dangerously” climax! I guess it’s there so we can think “oh no even if this works Marty might STILL be pooched” but I really feel like that robs tension rather than heightening it. Marty’s no longer driving through time to save his life as he knows it; he’s just driving through time to MAYBE do that. It seems wimpier, somehow?
CRAZINESS TWO: Oh my gosh Doc sex doesn’t work that way!! If I delay having kids by a few years, THE CHILD THAT IS BORN IS A DIFFERENT KID. Totally different egg, totally different sperm, brotimes! It’s not like every couple has a few kids waiting inside them all queued up in an orderly line ready to pop out, and if George decides to engage in just one extra OR EVEN ONE FEWER session of “Just George” Alone Time Sex Fun Times, Why Are You Knocking On The Door, Somebody’s In Here before he and Lorraine conceive, Marty as we know him won’t ever be born. Heck, the birth of ANYONE is so hugely statistically improbable compared to all the alternate children that could’ve been born instead that to draw attention to how unlikely it is, even in a really stupid way, seems like a super bad idea?
CRAZINESS THREE: hah hah hah, “how do you like them apples?” I STILL LOVE IT
